DAY 66 – IMAGINE WHAT IT MUST BE LIKE TO BE A PARENT WHO

I am at a meeting with other parents who have gathered together to talk about the problems they are having with their children. The ages of the children vary but the one constant is that children do not fully comprehend how their actions affect their parents.

All of the parents have tremendous love for their children. They spend their time thinking about and trying to do their best for them. They give up many personal goals and desires to help them enjoy their childhood and grow into an adult who will have insights that enhance their life.

For some children they do not understand what a caring parent is attempting to do. When a parent says they have to do homework before playing or watching tv they do not like it. Being told they cannot do something children may think that their parents are unreasonable. While most children eventually come to understand what their parents have been trying to do, some children develop a pattern of thinking that focuses upon how they haven’t been treated like they want to be treated rather than appreciating the love and caring they have been shown.

As children become older and turn into teenagers there are more things they can do than when they were younger. Some of the situations they find themselves in have potential pitfalls and even when a parent explains what could go wrong they may dismiss it because they just want to do it no matter what. Points of contention sometimes develop between children and parents that escalate into arguments which takes away from a harmonious and peaceful household.

The immaturity of children is the reason they engage in activities that may turn out not to be in their best interests. If they do something dangerous they may not consider how they could hurt themselves or someone else. If they do not do well in school they mitigate the ramifications it could have upon their future. If they use alcohol and drugs they do not realize how detrimental it can be to their health and the potential to become addicted to them. All of these problematic behaviors become very upsetting and emotionally taxing on their parents, especially if they are recurring.

Being a loving and caring parent doesn’t end in their children’s childhood. They carry this love throughout their children’s lives. When a grown child has relationship, financial or health problems as well as anything else that may be amiss, parents are still concerned as they were decades ago. It becomes even more upsetting for a parent when an adult child does not want to change their ways and remedy the problematic situations.

When life goes well for one’s own children, it makes life easier for their parents. They do not have to concern themselves about the problems their children face or spend time trying to find a solution for it. They can free their minds so they can just enjoy the time they spend together and to fully enjoy whatever they personally find gratifying without having their child’s difficulties to weigh them down.

After meeting with these parents I now realize that in certain situations some children do not comprehend what a parent goes through. They do not understand the psychological and emotional distress that lies within a parent who has to deal with their children’s difficulties. The ability of a parent to have inner harmony is related to what occurs in their children’s lives.