DAY 42 – KEY ASPECT: EXCLUSION VERSUS INCLUSION

My brother and I had moved to a new town with our parents when we were seven and eight years old respectively. The first day at school we wanted to play with the kids after school. Those in the playground kept to themselves and would not let us join in. Being shunned did not just happen that first day but it persisted throughout our school lives.

Where we had moved to was so different than what we were used to. Our old community was a town where everyone seemed to know each other and people were friendly and would spend time talking and doing things with one another. The place where our parents took us to was a very large city where its citizens kept to themselves and the only time you saw each other was when they were rushing in and out of stores or to and from their home without a word being said.

After a couple of years we began to understand how our fellow students in our new town looked at and treated certain people. Other students who were not like them were thought of as different and odd. A division developed where numerous groups were formed and each group of friends kept to themselves. A wall was built up that said you are not part of us and we do not like you and do not want to have anything to do with you, even if the person so categorized is the nicest person in the world.

Luckily there were other kids like ourselves who did not think and act like that. We accepted people based upon nothing more than being a friendly person . This is where we treated each other decently and with respect. This is where we learned to become tolerant about someone who is different and to include them in our lives. This is where my brother and I found our friends from.

When we look a little bit more closely we can see how children can come to exclude other kids from joining in. Kids hear parents and other people talk in a demeaning manner about a relative, friend, neighbor, co-worker or stranger pointing out an attribute they do not agree with or like. Some children who come to think that this is appropriate behavior then incorporate within themselves such thoughts and attitudes towards other people. They find something they do not like about a kid in school or someone living nearby and they then say demeaning things to them and do not include them in what they are doing. Without realizing it, a pattern of anti-thoughts that puts people down and excludes them seems very natural and normal. If left unchecked it can be a habit that lasts a lifetime.

Any exclusionary thinking can spread from one individual to others. After a while a large segment of a community can dislike and want to exclude certain people or certain segments of society. There is no benevolence and no kindness in such actions. When it occurs on a massive scale it can alter the path forward for generations to come. No one benefits from it as a divide has developed that appears unbreakable.

Those who do not accept others as their fellow human beings with the same desire for a better life do not fully comprehend the effects of their actions. They do not see the discomfort and uneasiness it has upon the person who is excluded. They do not understand what a person thinks, feels and the psychological and emotional strain it has upon someone who is not accepted by others. And most of all, they do not have an inkling that excluding individual persons or entire members of a particular group has a long term consequence that tears away at the fabric of a benevolent and peaceful world.

As I grew older I now realize that people who are excluded by others, no matter what the reason, is a form of non-acceptance. They do not welcome them into their lives with open arms. Inclusion of all of our fellow human beings into the human family is the path that humanity has to take if we are to become a more unified world.