DAY 40 – KEY ASPECT: SELF-FOCUSED VERSUS ALTRUISM

I am sitting at a bar and overhear two people talking. One person says he lives around the corner and continually talks about himself, his family, all that he has accomplished and his country. The other person says he has traveled around the world and centers his attention upon the person he is talking to, the people he has met and the issues that impact all of humanity.

After a short time it becomes evident that the first person’s focus upon himself comes from an egocentric perspective. He talks about himself as if his desires are all that matters in this world. He believes that his family is more important than other families and his successes are of greater importance and consequence than what any other human being is doing or going through. He also conveys an attitude that what impacts his country is of such paramount importance that it completely overshadows anything of importance to people who live elsewhere.

People who have a self-focused approach to life have a mindset that “me and all that I need and care about” takes precedence over “other people and what they need and care about”. Such individuals may compromise out of necessity but their true perspective does so only if they can gain something they would not ordinarily have. There is no real we of the human family just the me of what is in my best interests.

It is normal to have self-interest concerns about what affects each of us in life. We want to spend time with the people we love who have a special place in our hearts and minds. Having to pay for the essentials of food, shelter and clothing commits people to going to work instead of hanging around with friends. There is a time commitment that human beings make in one’s own interests.

Self-interest, though, goes to a different level when it disregards what may or may not benefit one’s fellow human beings. Trying to outdo someone and win when others lose has for many become their personal mantra when it comes to themselves, their loved ones and those who share their nationality, religion, race and ethnicity.

While there are some who live their lives with more of a me first attitude, there are far more people who live life by believing that everyone matters and genuinely want the best for people everywhere. They know that when someone succeeds at life, whether friend or stranger, we all succeed. They do not consider themselves to be superior and others inferior, just co-equals. They have figured out how to balance one’s own interest with an altruism that takes into consideration the larger picture of society.

Look at the unselfish in this world who go out of their way for someone else. They are the individuals who start non-profits and tirelessly work to remedy a problem that faces someone or a particular group. They are the volunteers who give their time to a cause greater than themselves. They are the people who stop what they are doing and come rushing to help when there is an emergency, whether it is local or somewhere across the sea. The world is a much better place because of the millions upon millions of people who devote their time and energy to remedying something that is problematic.

Like everything else in life, what each of us does is related to one’s thoughts. Those who are self-focused have those silent words that say I have to spend my time devoted to what I enjoy having and doing. Altruistic people have an inner dialogue that the we of the human family matters as much as myself and I will spend some of my time helping my fellow human beings and the earth to thrive.

When I left the bar I now realize that human beings may often focus upon one ‘s own interests but we also have the capability to consider the interests of others as well. There is a significant difference between living our lives based on the I of my life versus the we of the human family. The more we incorporate the welfare of others and our planet into our thoughts and actions the better the world becomes for everyone.